Well... slept very few minutes the last night. Also had the most strangest dreams. Anyway - I had a wonderful time today and I am very happy that I finaly feel like a good friendship that I cared for a lot seems to be nearly fully mended again. This is something I really am happy for and for sure it really lifted my already rather dragged down spirits high. On the downside... I was at the hospital again this afternoon and saw my grandfather. He will have his surgery on tuesday and the doctor told me that the chances are extremely high that he will not make it... To be honest - I am scared. Really scared to loose him. He means a lot to me and I would not want to imagine a time without him. And I don't know what will happen on tuesday. I already am down with my nerves and probably will be compleately beside myself then... I just wish one of my friends could be with me then... but they are all more then a few hundret kilometers away. sighs