Is it pain?... I don't know. The reason why I write those thougths here might be that I just need a medium to write it down.. to get it out. I sepnt the day in the mountain sitting on my ledge watching the day go by. The day was a beautiful one, concerning the weather. But it was a very painful and lonely day. I crave for the warm body and the comfort of Ids again. I so much miss those who were so close to me and are gone now. Noone of my family is left. I am weak.. I lost strength and the will to continue the current path. I have walked so far from where I wanted to go back then about 6-7 years ago when everything started to spiral down. I am stuck in a situation where I see no way out again and feel that I am unable to last this way much longer... I feel lost.