It's been very rougth few days and I slowly start to get up again and try to pull myself up somehow. The sad thing is, that it might just happen by burrying all the memories deep down inside of me again - which I know will surface one day compleately. But I have not the strength, time or abilities to face them these days. i already have too much of problems on my way and am even unable to face them compleately. it all is slowly eating me up.